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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As an ICU nurse, I see plenty of adult children that visit their ill parents but have little to do with their actual, physical care.  Many adult children also live out of state.

But the much, much more common scenario, is that the advocating, care, etc., all falls onto one child (even in the most "normal" families) and there's conflict and resentment with that.

I hope this thread is not insinuating that people have children so that they can take care of them.  It's like having a second child because you think your kids will be BFFs for life or because they need a sibling.  There are no guarantees.  The best thing you can do for yourself and for those that you love and love you is to have advanced directives in place.  Be your own advocate while you can.[/quote]

+1 to all of this.  My mom had five siblings, and she STILL did almost all the work of caring for her mother.  I have a brother, and I have always known that he will be totally useless when it comes to caring for our parents, while I live across the country and, while I will do whatever I can for them, I'm not well-placed to handle the day-to-day stuff.   Thank goodness my parents are looking ahead and planning for the time when they can't live independently.    [/quote]

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