Reply to When your spouse loves you, but is in love with someone else

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Perfect example of how women blow things up:

1. Your husband has shown you all the messages between his ex and him.  NONE OF THEM point to a possible relationship or sexual nature.

2. He has four kids with you and has not shown ONE sign if leaving you or cheating on you.  Talking to an ex IS NOT CHEATING SO STOP WITH THE BS.

3. Not all wives are their husband's first choice.  Mine isn't.  I love a girlfriend I had in college more than I do my wife.  Why?  We were more compatible.  But, that doesn't mean I don't love my wife.  The person you marry is not going to bet the #1 love of your entire life.  That's fairy tale BS.

4. Stop making your husband feel guilty for caring about someone she CLEARLY cared about a lot years ago. There is nothing wrong with caring about an ex.  You realize they had a life together right?

You need to take a chill pill.  I think you are making the entire scenario worse.  Unless your husband is seeing her behind your back or sending her gifts, etc you need to just stop with the jealousy.  [/quote]

Oh good grief.

1. He only showed the messages when she insisted. He hid what he was doing. That’s shady and the husband saying there  is nothing wrong with is gaslighting.

2. You’re making it sound like anything that might lead up to cheating is fine, like cheating is the only thing people are allowed to be upset about it. Wrong.

3. Just because you love another woman more than you love your spouse doesn’t mean that anybody has to put up with that. I love my husband more than anybody else and if I loved somebody more than I loved him, he would not put up with that. Just loving somebody is not enough for a strong marriage, and a strong marriage is what we want. I think it’s fair to expect to be #1 in your spouses eyes. The idea that you think that’s a fairy tale is frankly disturbing and shows that nobody should be taking relationship advice from you.

4. Caring about somebody is not the same as loving somebody more than your spouse. [/quote]

Thank you! I think pp is projecting his own issues and guilt onto op[/quote]

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