Reply to When your spouse loves you, but is in love with someone else

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think it’s crazy how so many people here are advocating for doing nothing. Don’t you guys share your thoughts and feelings with your spouses? Don’t you lean on each other for support? Don’t you work through issues together? Why not? Will having mature, adult conversations with your spouse be bad for your relationship ship?

I guess that kind of marriage works for some people but I’m so glad I don’t have one of those. [/quote]

No one shares every single thought and feeling with their spouse.  There isn't enough time in the day to share every thought you have.  
You select which thoughts are important enough to share.  These aren't the ones to go with. [/quote]

Well gee do you think “hey I feel insecure about the idea that you love somebody else more than you love me, maybe we talk about it” is in the same level as “I wish my husband would wear different pants?”

A thought that goes to the very heart of the strength of your relationship seems like it’s important enough to share and have a conversation about. Being concerned about your spouse hiding conversations with somebody he loves more than you seems to fit into this category. I’m really surprised that people think that you shouldn’t even bring it up, even in a non-accusatory manner. It seems doing so means you think you’re obligated to hide feelings and accept an emotionally distanced relationship. This makes me so grateful for the relationship I have with my husband; we can have a mature, respectful conversations about things that are bothering us and work through them, without conflict. But again whatever floats your boat. [/quote]

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