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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have 4 kids. Oldest in college, youngest in middle school.  From my observation. "Most" kids never end up in the principal's office. A small percentage of kids end up in the office a couple of times and the consequences work and they clean up their act and don't end up there again.  An even smaller percent of kids are there often. One of our kids has an IEP for anxiety and we have had a LOT of visits to the office. During one meeting with the VP the very kind and patient Vice Principal told us that he spends 10% of his time with 90% of the students and 90% of his time with 10% of the students. Of that 10% about half are there because they caused a problem and half are there because they suffered the problem. We have had 2 kids who fall in the "never" group, 1 that fell into the 2x in the office in middle school and one that is in the office often.[/quote]

I forgot to answer the question about how we handle it.  We back up the school 100% on consequences. If our kid caused a problem at school they get whatever the school punishment is plus something at home.  Typically the consequence at home is a loss of screens plus a written apology to the teacher.  The written apology helps us determine if the child actually understood why they got in trouble.[/quote]

Thanks. How do you handle the emotional toll it takes on you, if it influences you?[/quote]

The emotional toll is hard.  Like another pp commented I dread seeing the school number when the phone rings. Having DH and I on the same page is really important.  I have also discovered that time to talk to a friend each week is really important to my mental health.  It isn't so much talking about this one child but rather talking to her about challenges and success and hearing about hers makes me able to handle the extra stress of things like calls from the school.  [/quote]

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