Reply to DH takes too long to respond to DC, it’s infuriating

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[quote=Anonymous]Okay, so I asked "Does your DH have ADHD?" before I read the whole thread and saw it discussed.  :D

Attention disregulation is the cornerstone criteria of ADHD and that's what jumped out at me from your description.  As someone who is more ADHD (but not severely so), I can say that it is possible to compensate but it takes knowledge of tricks and a willingness to use them.  It can take a LOT of effort to compensate and stay on top of things at work so things can fall apart at home after being drained by all that effort at work.

You mentioned your DH can drop what he's doing when a timer goes off for the microwave or the laundry.  That could simply be that he's conditioned to switch his attention at those specific cues.  If he's willing to use a timer for those "just a minute" scenarios, that might be a good strategy, however he would have to be willing to actually USE the timer.

Conversely, I've also observed that men usually aren't enculturated to feel responsible for childcare and if you're not responsible for it, then it doesn't become important enough to drop more pleasurable things for it.  If this is the case, then trying harder to be more attentive is the solution.  As a parent of kids with ADHD and having mild ADHD myself, I can say that you can't "try harder" your way out of ADHD.  You have to find a combination of try harder and tools -- whether that's medication or strategies or both.

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