Reply to Vent: Pregnant and realizing H is a twit.

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP. I ended up leaving for the night.

Honestly this feels like just one more thing in a long history of behavior showing he doesn’t really want marriage/kids/even a committed relationship. He says he does, but then makes it clear he still wants his independence, and it never feels like a real partnership. Like the dinner example, he stopped cooking for me and thinks we should just handle our own dinner separately. Or if he’s going out of town for a week and I can mention that I’d like to spend our last evening together, but he’ll start packing late in the day and take hours, so by the time he’s done it’s way past my bedtime. Which I don’t understand, I would have thought a guy would jump at the chance for sex before leaving.

I was actually planning on separating because he flat out told me that he will always come first, not me or any children we have, but right after I found out I was pregnant. I don’t understand that attitude.

So this just feels like the straw that broke the camel’s back, it’s clear he just wants to live his life with me on the side as a convenience. [/quote]

NP here. Other posters apparently do not get this situation at all. I have been married to someone like this and what you've described sounds a lot like our last couple of years together. For me, leaving was the best decision I ever made. It was not a matter of "working things out" because with someone like this, they've already checked out of the partnership and are focusing on what they want instead of what the relationship needs. At a certain point after you've tried so many times and given so many chances and they STILL are responding like that... you can fairly rule out that it's not because you haven't tried or haven't been clear. If someone tells you that they are prioritizing themselves over the relationship, BELIEVE THEM.

In my case, it freed me up to meet my current DH who is the most supportive, involved, and patient person ever. I didn't have kids with my ex, but I still would have made the decision to leave if I did have kids with him.[/quote]

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