Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I agree with you that your husband is being a twit. If this type of behavior keeps up after you have the baby you have to decide if you want to stay with him but have separate interests and do things you like on your own/with kids or leave him.

I wanted more kids and didn’t want to coparent, split time with the kids, or remarry and hope to find someone else who wanted to have kids quickly so I stayed.

We now have 3 kids that I primarily parent and I usually do my own thing on weekends and leave him to sitting on the couch. Once I stopped trying to involve him in my plans my life opened up and I feel I have a lot of freedom. Yes, I wish I had more of a partner but I wanted kids and motherhood more so I figured out a way of dealing with it.

Well this was the classic 50s dad, only golf or lions club rather than couch and video games. But yes strong precedent. If OP prioritizes a willing sperm donor, this is a bad plan

pp, yes I would compare it to something of a 1950s household dynamic. If you already have a child with a person and you want more, it can be easier to stay. This is especially true of you get along with DH but don’t share similar interests. I like DH as a person and we do find time to connect but I had to accept that he’s not coming to the farmers market or the pool or to any kind of event. I stopped waiting for him to come with me.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP I agree with you that your husband is being a twit. If this type of behavior keeps up after you have the baby you have to decide if you want to stay with him but have separate interests and do things you like on your own/with kids or leave him.

I wanted more kids and didn’t want to coparent, split time with the kids, or remarry and hope to find someone else who wanted to have kids quickly so I stayed.

We now have 3 kids that I primarily parent and I usually do my own thing on weekends and leave him to sitting on the couch. Once I stopped trying to involve him in my plans my life opened up and I feel I have a lot of freedom. Yes, I wish I had more of a partner but I wanted kids and motherhood more so I figured out a way of dealing with it.

Well this was the classic 50s dad, only golf or lions club rather than couch and video games. But yes strong precedent. If OP prioritizes a willing sperm donor, this is a bad plan

Anonymous wrote:OP I agree with you that your husband is being a twit. If this type of behavior keeps up after you have the baby you have to decide if you want to stay with him but have separate interests and do things you like on your own/with kids or leave him.

I wanted more kids and didn’t want to coparent, split time with the kids, or remarry and hope to find someone else who wanted to have kids quickly so I stayed.

We now have 3 kids that I primarily parent and I usually do my own thing on weekends and leave him to sitting on the couch. Once I stopped trying to involve him in my plans my life opened up and I feel I have a lot of freedom. Yes, I wish I had more of a partner but I wanted kids and motherhood more so I figured out a way of dealing with it.

Anonymous wrote:Why did you have him clean at the expense of your night out? Don't be a martyr. Speak up, go out and make him work the next day.

Anonymous wrote:Why did you have him clean at the expense of your night out? Don't be a martyr. Speak up, go out and make him work the next day.

Anonymous wrote:I was actually planning on separating because he flat out told me that he will always come first, not me or any children we have, but right after I found out I was pregnant. I don’t understand that attitude.

I was actually planning on separating because he flat out told me that he will always come first, not me or any children we have, but right after I found out I was pregnant. I don’t understand that attitude.

Anonymous wrote:OP. I ended up leaving for the night.

Honestly this feels like just one more thing in a long history of behavior showing he doesn’t really want marriage/kids/even a committed relationship. He says he does, but then makes it clear he still wants his independence, and it never feels like a real partnership. Like the dinner example, he stopped cooking for me and thinks we should just handle our own dinner separately. Or if he’s going out of town for a week and I can mention that I’d like to spend our last evening together, but he’ll start packing late in the day and take hours, so by the time he’s done it’s way past my bedtime. Which I don’t understand, I would have thought a guy would jump at the chance for sex before leaving.

I was actually planning on separating because he flat out told me that he will always come first, not me or any children we have, but right after I found out I was pregnant. I don’t understand that attitude.

So this just feels like the straw that broke the camel’s back, it’s clear he just wants to live his life with me on the side as a convenience.

Anonymous wrote:OP. I ended up leaving for the night.

Honestly this feels like just one more thing in a long history of behavior showing he doesn’t really want marriage/kids/even a committed relationship. He says he does, but then makes it clear he still wants his independence, and it never feels like a real partnership. Like the dinner example, he stopped cooking for me and thinks we should just handle our own dinner separately. Or if he’s going out of town for a week and I can mention that I’d like to spend our last evening together, but he’ll start packing late in the day and take hours, so by the time he’s done it’s way past my bedtime. Which I don’t understand, I would have thought a guy would jump at the chance for sex before leaving.

I was actually planning on separating because he flat out told me that he will always come first, not me or any children we have, but right after I found out I was pregnant. I don’t understand that attitude.

So this just feels like the straw that broke the camel’s back, it’s clear he just wants to live his life with me on the side as a convenience.

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:

Anonymous wrote:OP. I ended up leaving for the night.

Honestly this feels like just one more thing in a long history of behavior showing he doesn’t really want marriage/kids/even a committed relationship. He says he does, but then makes it clear he still wants his independence, and it never feels like a real partnership. Like the dinner example, he stopped cooking for me and thinks we should just handle our own dinner separately. Or if he’s going out of town for a week and I can mention that I’d like to spend our last evening together, but he’ll start packing late in the day and take hours, so by the time he’s done it’s way past my bedtime. Which I don’t understand, I would have thought a guy would jump at the chance for sex before leaving.

I was actually planning on separating because he flat out told me that he will always come first, not me or any children we have, but right after I found out I was pregnant. I don’t understand that attitude.

So this just feels like the straw that broke the camel’s back, it’s clear he just wants to live his life with me on the side as a convenience.

Maybe he got tired of you complaining about what he made for dinner?


And I don't know you could have stayed up past your bedtime? You do realize once you have a baby your strict bedtime won't be ab;e to be observed anymore right? You go on about him being inflexible, but you've got your own stuff.


That is if you aren't making this all up, which I have to say your last post sniffs like BS.

I’ve never complained, I’m always appreciative. He just has excuses like “I don’t know what you like”. I’m not picky or anything.

I do stay up late for him. I prefer to be in bed by 9 but will stay up to 11-12. I’m not staying up until 2am, which is what he prefers. I can’t function on 4 hours of sleep. Plus, it would be nice if he returned the favor and worked with my schedule once in awhile.

Being a mom is going to be hard for you especially since you've decided you want to divorce your husband and be a single mom. Having someone whose cool with being at 2 am comes in real hndy with a newborn.