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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I don’t know, op, if you guys have the money who are you to decide what “we” don’t need. What exactly do you want to do with that money knowing that nobody has a lock on tomorrow?  I’m not saying be wasteful, but you do also want to live and enjoy yourselves.

I’ve never met a person yet who describes themselves as “frugal” who doesn’t have some kind of mental health issue, usually anxiety.  I’m not saying this to be unkind, it’s just what I’ve observed.

My husband had a lot of anxiety about money due to things that happened as a teen, he knew what was going on yet lacked the ability to do anything about it.  It took a long time to sort out because “It’s good to save”.

As for the dropping money on the bros’ dinners, that should probably stop.  It’s real easy to attract people who literally only want you for a free meal, people who are charming and always happy to go out because they know they aren’t paying for what they consume.  The problem is that when the money stops, the friends stop which wouldn’t be so bad except many of them blame the wife.. “Bill used to be fun until he met Sally” “I’d always go to Bill’s house when I was bored, but now with Sally…” “I’d always ask Bill to give me a ride but since he met that b**ch”  It’s not a position yo want to be in.

I’d let him spend whatever he wants on you, himself and the family i.e. the two of you andyour house, and dial back on paying for his pals. Healthy people I’ve noticed don’t want others to pay their way so I’d be careful around those that are fine with it.  Men view it as an insult, and women, well he shouldn’t be paying for women unless they are you.  [/quote]

OP here. I’m frugal because I grew up struggling for most of my life. His parents were well off and he never wanted for anything or had to worry about money. 
I know that you can have money one day, and it can all be gone the next day. We make good money and have a lot of money in retirement, savings, and emergency funds, but I still like to be cautious with money.

I do spend as well but I keep it under a certain point. I don’t spend ridiculous amounts of money like he does. He easily will spend $5k a month ( on top of our expense for home, grocery, savings, etc.) on literally nothing. I spent maybe $1k max on things but that’s only a couple of times a year. We are going to have kids soon and I’m thinking about their future. I want to be able to be financially stable because kids are not cheap. [/quote]

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