Reply to "I have my own way of doing things"

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Reply to ""I have my own way of doing things""

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]
Part of ADHD is getting stuck on the idea that you have the right answer and you know it’s right and you just can’t let go. It happens. And it is happening now. You are the dad. You know. Only you know. No one else can know as good as you. It’s an impulse thing. You can’t control the impulse to be rigid to this one idea. It’s too overwhelming to let go of. But in this case if you don’t you can hurt your DS.  Maybe it’s time for you to get your own help.[/quote]

It is not about getting stuck on an idea.  It's about teaching him that everything is possible, even if he's not doing them through traditional means. I compared it to weight loss earlier and in that example, the goal is weight loss, but HIIT or WW or IF. Those are just the means to the end.  But with ADHD, we have a different way of doing things and we will often be told we're wrong right up until we are done, and then they'll come and ask us how we did it (and maybe still tell us we did it wrong). So I'm trying to instill this confidence in him to keep trying and particularly to try his approaches that he likes that may not be the standard way of doing it.

I'm teaching him poems like try try again and if at first you don't succeed and don't quit because he needs to learn to embrace his creative way of thinking

What works for me won't always work for him that's a given and I've seen that already. Maybe it won't work for me in a year or a month or a day.  But like like Nas once said,  if they wrote a book on my life, it'd be a best seller.  And no matter what I keep on. That's what I want to teach my son. And sure a therapist can help with the day to day management of it but I'm not going to depend on a therapist to be his parent.  So when he has a problem with managing ADHD or with class or with a social thing,  I want him to know dad had been through that so maybe he can help me, so let me talk to dad about it.  Sure we can talk to a therapist too but I still have a very important job to do.

And part of my understanding that he's not me is understanding that my ways don't always work, or that he wants to try his ways out, ways that make no sense to me at first, but I'm going to give him a lot more room than I was given before I was told I was wrong (stupid), and if he is able to correct himself then great.

The thing I've got on my side is that I'm seeing his progress. I mentioned his anxiety and just there, but we haven't talked about his confidence, his reading his math, his love for numbers, his finding patterns and love to talk about them, his storytelling, his love for running and riding bikes. These are all things he learned through non traditional methods (except maybe running). And if this search for a (the right)  therapist takes longer than expected, I don't want him thinking ADHD is impossible because people say so.

Daddy said differently because daddy is showing you differently. Maybe he won't be able to do everything (I can't dance)  but I'm going to let him be the one who decides that not some outside person who says what he can't do because of ADHD.[/quote]

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