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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]WTF? Is this for real? Your kids are offended by their aunt's personality and you want to talk to her about changing her innate trait?

How about you talk to your kids about what's appropriate and teach them to accept people as they are?[/quote]

Our kids are 5 and 6. Her kids are a little older. They do come to OUR house. But our kids are never invited. We can meet at the park but she sets very specific time frame: like 2 hours and not a minute more. Even if they are having fun. [/quote]

Does it bother *you* that the play dates are at your house and timed, or does it bother your kids? If the former, let it go. If the latter, teach your kids to let it go. Maybe plan the playtime right before lunch or dinner out somewhere, so they’ll have that to look forward to at the end of the play date.[/quote]

Both scenarios bother our children. They are timed, rigidly timed, they are either either at OUR house or in the park, and never in their house. Our kids started asking "why can't we ever go to their house?" She never extends an invitation. I don't know...maybe reciprocity is not a thing anymore.[/quote]

I get it OP, but unfortunately you can’t change SIL, so just prioritize the cousins playing together (even if you’re the one always putting in the effort) and forget about reciprocation.

Side note: this is why I always pity the children of extreme introverts. I am somewhat introverted, but I put that aside for the sake of my kids and host regularly and always accept invitations if I logistically can. The extreme introverts I know have tiny circles and no one to count on, because few will stay friends with you if you *never* reciprocate or show interest in them. So their less-introverted kids feel really lonely.[/quote]

Absolutely this. Also I feel like "introvert" is increasingly being used as an excuse for rude behavior. I say this as someone is introverted.[/quote]

I agree with you both and I am introverted, as is DH. We still host play dates in our smallish place, have birthday parties and force ourselves to talk. It’s good for our early elementary DC and ensures they aren’t feeling that loneliness. My father is that way, and so is my brother. It’s a lonely way to live.[/quote]

I'm the PP from above this last post. Totally agree, have seen the cautionary tale and don't wish to repeat it

You can have make time to recharge and be on your own while still socializing. Otherwise it's more like social anxiety than just being an introvert.[/quote]

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