Reply to Husband wants to go to Vegas on his paternity leave

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think he should be able to get some me time on his paternity leave but a weekend across the country sounds awful. He shouldn’t have asked for that, especially if he didn’t offer to arrange help with the kids. But he taking just might not know a) how difficult it would be to take care of the kids in this situation and b) that not considering the burden it places on you is indeed selfish. So I would do my best to be understanding. Easier said than done though, especially when you’re taking care of a newborn. [/quote]

I can’t believe he wouldn’t know the strain this would place. IMHO, it would’ve been a crappy ask with “just” an 8 week old newborn. Given that this is their second kid, it’s inconceivable be doesn’t know the amount of work it is to look after a newborn.

Also, the posts stating that OP should tell DH to take the 3 year old are insane right now. There’s evidence out of Australia that unvaccinated people can contract the Delta variant within 5-10 seconds. You want OP to consent to putting her unvaxxed child on a 4 hour flight plus airport time PLUS VEGAS? Wth. No. I’m clearly more risk averse, but covid alone plus an unvaxxed kid would be enough to make me lose it at DH for this question.[/quote]

This ticks me off to no end, but if you are breastfeeding, your partner cannot know how difficult it really is. Even if he really thought hard and tried to understand the situation, which most people wouldn’t, they just will never understand. Generally speaking men just do not understand how grueling the whole thing is. This is why most women have to ask for help from their partners instead of just being helped.

Not that it’s an excuse for OP’s husband. There is no reason he couldn’t have just considered for a moment before asking. But when I stopped expecting or hoping my husband would understand how hard it is to be the primary parent, it was easier for me to let that frustration go. And you have to let a lot of stuff go in order to have a good marriage. [/quote]

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