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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Spouse had been sober (as far as I know) until recently. Things point to use and lying while I was away with my ES age kids for a week. I’m done with this BS but worried about how to get full custody. Otherwise I feel I have to stay to protect my children. They hide it and it would be hard for me to have proof. I got some Lyft history off the phone (yeah I checked) which looks like someone else was at our house from 4-7AM (also points to cheating and manic use).

I need full custody to get out of this. Please help me with any info on this. [/quote]

Full custody is out of the question. If you can’t bare the thought of shared custody, stay put until they are at least teens and can advocate for themselves. For now, carve out a busy life with your kids outside of home to minimize engagement with him. Sign them up for tons of activities, play dates, sleep overs. When they are old enough, sign them up for sleep away summer camps.

Document as much as you can. Do not mention divorce, ever, as it will place him on alert.

I’m in the same boat and got these very same tips from someone else in this group.

I know deep in my heart the pain and anguish you are feeling. You are not alone. Try to focus on the good you are able to provide to your kids until it’s time to leave him.

Thinking of you.

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