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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I wouldn't.  Your kids are not going to miss not having a relationship with this "Aunt Becky."  It's one thing if it is someone your DH is close to, then I may try for his sake, but it doesn't sound like he cares either way.  So this is all for your MIL?  I just don't see the point...[/quote]
+1
I agree with this. "Aunt Becky" has let 20 years go by without any effort on her part to make amends, try to connect with you, etc. Likely never going to happen. Go with your gut here, which seems to be saying, "Eeeek! I can't trust this person and am consumed with anxiety just thinking about my kids and I being around her!!" Do what you have to do to back out of this plan. I lean towards those posters saying to make it clear to MIL why you are not going. But if you're not feeling confident in that direct approach, a white lie excuse using health/safety/other plans is understandable. Don't put yourself through this. Your children are not missing out on anything and surely they have other opportunities for visits with friends/relatives/at a pool that don't involve someone who has been blatantly racist towards you (and never apologized/made amends). If she had made an effort to apologize, learn grow, that would be a different story and you sound like the kind of sensitive (in a good way) and thoughtful person who would be willing to accept an apology like that and move on. But in the meantime, the ball is in Aunt Becky's court. You don't need to initiate anything, be in her presence, allow her to enjoy spending time with your children... Just do what's right for YOU.[/quote]

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