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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]This is OP. I suppose I'm torn between the "hard nopes" and the posters who wrote re: "conciliation/education". I do believe Aunt Becky wants to see the kids and it was her idea -- although I have no idea if she is holds racist views or has reformed in her older age. I recognize this is a petty feeling and probably below me, but I also want for some "consequences" to fall upon Aunt Becky (i.e., you were racist to me, so the price to pay for that is you cannot have a relationship with my family).[/quote]

I would wonder why Aunt Becky wants to see the kids.  Are they a curiosity to her?  Does she want to say something mean to them?  It doesn’t sit well with me that she wants to see them.  I wouldn’t let the kids go and I would tell MIL.

FWIW, I was in a situation similar to yours 20 years ago and I do allow my kids to visit with the person.  DH is well aware of entire situation and has my back.  He takes them and this person has been good to my kids.  Your MIL doesn’t know what Aunt Becky did, so if Aunt Becky started getting nasty, MIL may not know to take the kids away or may not believe them if Becky says something mean when MIL isn’t around.  [/quote]

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