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[quote=Anonymous]I am on the side of those saying: NOPE. I even like the idea of not skirting around the reason why. Be proud, loud, and clear.

YOUR job is to protect yourself and your children, not protect the feelings of grown up adults.

I am speaking as a (white) mother to biracial kids. I have only now begun to feel what racism feels like, through my (black) husband and young children.

Certain relatives are not worth our time. They say they are "hurting" because I don't talk with them anymore.

Through many sessions of therapy and support from amazing, caring friends and family, I am finally at peace that they can hurt. No longer feeling guilty about it. They are hurting US with their racism. No need for me to bend my values or put my chosen family on the back-burner to appease other relatives.

ONE caveat I have: if this "Aunt Becky" truly ever sincerely apologizes to you, in a real authentic way, that means following up with something like, "I am learning, and would love to learn about your experience as a minority in this country..." 100% different story. Try your hardest to forgive and see that as a success, a human being who is learning and growing like all of us.

That part above is what I struggle with the most in my situation: I would 100% resume relations with certain people if they just showed willingness to be open and learn, to connect and grow. But people have to be ready, really, from within themselves. Never helps much to try to push them from the outside.

Good luck, I feel you.[/quote]

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