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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Just please don't say anything about how it "just happened" or how you "weren't even trying." As someone struggling with infertility, I am happy for my friends who are pregnant, but when they say stuff like that to someone who is definitely trying and failing, it's obnoxious. Tell her via text and then give her space.[/quote]

How is telling someone that it was a surprise is obnoxious? If OP is best pals with this woman, wouldn't it be ruder if the situation was reversed and OP and her husband were trying (in a way to soften the blow if/when she gets pregnant again) and didn't tell her that they were trying? I feel like being honest with a best friend should be OK. [/quote]

It doesn't sound like you have experienced infertility, so you wouldn't understand. 
It's obnoxious because people with infertility and/or loss who have gone through years of trying and IVF treatments don't need to hear how easy it is for other people - it's insensitive, especially if it's a best friend. Yes, we realize other people get pregnant, and we realize it is easy for lots of people or even accidental, but we can put 2 and 2 together and don't need to hear the details. You can tell them about the pregnancy and everyone will be happy, just don't tell them details of how easy it is for you to get pregnant. 
[/quote]

My best friend would be just as upset to think that I was hiding something from her if I just tell her that I'm pregnant one day - without letting her know that we're hoping it happens for me again and that we're in the process of trying. [/quote]

Yes, but that's not the situation OP is talking about, and that's not the situation I was talking about either... all I am saying is don't tell someone with infertility that it is or was easy for you to get pregnant, or that you got pregnant unintentionally. [/quote]

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