Reply to How to tell friend I'm pregnant

Forum Index » Infertility Support and Discussion

Reply to "How to tell friend I'm pregnant"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. Thank you - yes I am incredibly sensitive to how this will impact my friend, and I've seen firsthand the heartache that infertility can cause. I was by her side through it all, helping to administer shots, being there when her husband couldn't, and being support for her when it caused challenges in her marriage. I know how devastating infertility is even though it hasn't happened directly to me. I've also seen my friend break down with pregnancy announcements, walking by baby stores in the mall, and the like. That being said, I am trying to tread as carefully as I can with what I know will be delicate for her to process. She knows we weren't trying because as my best friend she would know if we were. The fact that I've held in in for 8 weeks has been awful, but we saw the heartbeat and I feel like it's time to tell her. Essentially was looking for any one from her side that could point me in the right direction with how to approach it. [/quote]

Tell her. In person in a situation that she can "escape" from (like a walk) if that's what feels right to you. Tell her important updates when relevant, but don't offer a ton of extra information about feeling like crap or picking out registry items UNLESS she expresses interest in it first. Check in with her often about how she's feeling and, yes, acknowledge the continued unfairness of the situation for her. Continue to include her son in the big and little things like you do now, and be SOOO sensitive to all of the "big brother" stuff that is going to come up. That means pictures of your son kissing your belly, snuggling a newborn, etc. The hurt doesn't go away once the baby is born, but as much as you can make it something that her son is gaining too, the better. If this is a circumstantial friendship that fades anyways, then sure, maybe it was going to happen regardless. But if this is a best friend that you maintain across moves and life events, then treat it as such and continue to put in the work to maintain that friendship. Heck, maybe she'll get surprise pregnant eventually too and won't miscarry like I did (don't tell her that though!). You never know and those 8 year age gaps happen sometimes.[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics