Reply to People with a lot of friends and a big support system -- how do they do it? (Question about sister)

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]While the PPs aren't necessarily wrong, I think the idea that people have large support networks because they're kind/givers is a fallacy. I'm there for every friend when they're sick, pregnant, have a wedding, going through a divorce, depression, etc. Do you know who's there for me when I have surgery? One friend. It was awful.

On the other hand, my dad is a genuinely awesome guy, he's a stand up guy, but he's not necessarily a giver in this sense, he doesn't nurture and cultivate relationships, etc. Everyone loves him. When he went to the hospital for a surgery, even his dry-cleaner visited him.

It's sometimes about chemistry, sometimes about the environment, sometimes luck, it's not really something you can design and achieve IMHO. [/quote]

+1 Is your sister respected or respectable in some way? I have seen such people get the flowers and meals and cards.

Also, in some communities, once you are a part of it, this is how it goes. So nothing really special about the people in these communities, some groups are just very community-oriented.[/quote]

+2.  I think it is a "both and" situation. Yes, I think the prerequisite is to cultivate relationships and be kind and giving to a broad network, but there is also a important "social capital" factor of being charismatic, funny, likable, and yes, sometimes well-off and successful.  In other words, I know quite a few very kind and giving people who don't necessarily get the ticker-tape parade treatment and it's not because they are not truly good and generous; they just don't have that second social capital/ charm factor in the same way.[/quote]

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