Reply to Is it selfish to move abroad for good when you're an only child?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You are entitled to live wherever and however you want. However, you are not entitled to place your personal expectations of care on extended family members. This is also not an only child issue. I am an only and DH has several siblings. Some live close to their parents and some do not. While the responsibility may seem heavier on an only, there is often stress and resentment among large families since it is not possible to spread things equally. Unfortunately your dad also made choices that made things difficult for himself when he fired the aides. Everyone’s family dynamic is different but we all have to accept that choices also have consequences. Good ones and bad ones. [/quote]

NP.  I think that's fair.  I have a sibling and moved abroad for two years and one of my parents got unexpectedly sick. With COVID-19 travel restrictions (and a general lack of interest in doing nursing), my US based sibling wasn't able to travel easily to help (and he's not really the caregiving type anyway) and I definitely was stuck where I was.  I ended up on 3 a.m. calls in my time zone trying to talk to doctors and hospitals.   When you move abroad you have to recognize that it's not going to be easy to provide elderly parents (or any other family members) care, but yes, throwing money at the problem can help (if your parent is willing to accept the help).  In any case OP, move on. You can decide if you want to have the lack of actions of your extended family doom your future relationship, but you have to accept the fact that not all relatives are going to be that helpful.[/quote]

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