Reply to The mysterious marriage and dating market

Forum Index » Relationship Discussion (non-explicit)

Reply to "The mysterious marriage and dating market "

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I have been mystified over this as well. I am what you would call a "good girl." I come from a nice family. I was raised with love and had a wonderful childhood. I didn't date until after college and only slept with the man who became my husband. I was looking for the whole package. Kind, smart, driven and from a good family too. I dated for marriage in my twenties.

And yet...not one guy who I would consider "high quality" chased me or showed interest in me. I worked in the NGO space so I guess I never ran into many guys anyway. I met my now husband at a think tank happy hour. I thought he had everything I was looking for. I ignored some red flags as he was the only guy to ever show me interest. 5 years in, he turned out to be an abusive, cheating drunk who cannot keep a job.

I feel like a fool. My life is a joke.  I did everything right and it blew up in my face. What do you do when you just aren't desirable to the desirable guys?[/quote]

After you leave him, you can start figuring out what you like and asking men out. The sooner you start the more time you'll have. [/quote]

PP here. It was sort of a self-fulfilling prophecy. I wasn't broken or dysfunctional. In fact, I knew exactly what kind of man I wanted. But those guys would never show interest in me! At all! So...it killed my self esteem and I thought ok...they are clearly out of my league so I should go for someone who DOES want me, even if he drinks too much and comes from an abusive family. He has other great qualities! And overtime...his bad qualities just magnified. Now I am terrified to leave because if the guys I wanted never wanted me at my peak at 25...how can I possibly do well at 35?[/quote]

Because you're going to do some therapy and be more self-aware and self-confident. You may find what you want has changed based on this set of experiences. And you're going to be willing to do more of the work of showing interest in THEM.

There's someone out there who would be nice to you. Nice to you is better than abusive and cheating, regardless of whatever other qualities these guys have. [/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics