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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I adore babies. 
I am very judgmental of other people's pushy and entitled kids when they're past 8 y/o or so. The pushback, bargaining, or outright smiling defiance on grownup's rules? Keep that for your own house. That also makes me suspicious of my relationship with the parents - what kind of shit do their parents talk about me at home for the kid to believe they don't need to respect me in mine? [/quote]

The smiling defiance is disturbing but in our house pushback and bargaining aren’t considered disrespectful in our house. DH and I are always amused and sometimes impressed with the arguments our kids make in favor of their positions, and at times they do persuade us that they are right. I tell my kids not to do this at friend’s houses and I hope they listen but I can’t be sure they do. 
[/quote]

DH and I are both very polite, self-deprecating, considerate, tolerant, etc... We teach our kids to be considerate but I honestly sometimes worry they'll grow up to be pushovers. I see it on the playground already. It's a fine balance to strike. I like your approach that bargaining and pushback is acceptable to an extent. The difficult question is where exactly do you draw the line, without confusing the kids.  We have taken the approach that they can try to talk to us politely about anything, but that whining, pushing, hitting, etc. will never be tolerated (let alone successful as negotiating strategies).[/quote]

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