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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Parents definitely play down issues or don’t see how disruptive certain behaviors can be in a group setting.  While I don’t doubt you, OP, as a teacher I have reached out to many parents regarding behavioral issues and they blow it off.  Then they’re shocked when their child isn’t invited back for the next year.

Yes, I’m sure some schools are “heartless” - some parents are completely dismissive.  [/quote]

Parent of a child with behavioral issues here (and other children without issues, so it isn’t 100% me).  What exactly do you expect parents to do about behavioral issues that occur during school?  I do not get the impression that teachers are asking my advice on how they should handle the situation.  And I am not there to deal with it.  What are you looking for from me?  [/quote]

[b]The discussion is about being kicked out of a private school.  You can go to public. [/b] What do I expect parents to do as another parent?  Monitor your kid, work with your kid, model good behavior, have consequences.  We had a friend whose kid was a nightmare for lack of better terms.  Both of our kids had SN.  The kid came over with mom and broke a bunch of my child's toys.  Mom said a bit of glue will fix it and its no big deal.  It was to us and our child.  She refused to supervise, sit in the room with the kids, etc and just wanted to hang out.  I didn't let her invite herself over again.  I also expect you to get parenting help and get your child help.  It goes hand in hand.  If a teacher expresses a concern, you address it at home and have consequences at home.  On the rare occasion mine has acted up at school, I expect apology notes to all involved and lose electronics or something else for a week.  We don't take poor behavior at school lightly.[/quote]

That’s a good point.  I’m sorry.  
We did go public for a little while and ultimately ended up homeschooling that particular child.  Honestly, one of the biggest regrets of my life is doing all of the things you describe to my child when he was in early elementary school.  This wasn’t rate at our house.  It was weekly.  We had years of reports from school, apology letters, taking away toys, books, friends, etc. (we were a no electronics house), giving him stimulants and sedatives. All to this little, little boy.

I hate this trope that all behavioral problems at school can be managed with a big enough carrot or stick at home.  Maybe that is true sometimes, but you are seriously messing with some children and families by repeating that over and over again.  [/quote]

If you are a no electronics home then taking away toys and books is not a good plan.  You don't take away books.  If none of it is working, your child has much more going on and you seek out specialists to help and keep trying.  You hire an advocate and get them into a SN school as they are entitled to an education via the school system and not all SN schools take private pay.  No one is messing with children or families but the point is we don't want our kids going to school with kids who are disruptive or violent.  For an entire year, my child was terrorized by another child in 2nd grade.  My child was attacked daily by another child.  It was horrible.  The staff said the child was hugging but it was an unwanted hug and no child should be forced to "hug" another child in public school.  We had to remove our IEP/services to get out of the classroom that was SN that we were forced into and told the only way to get services was to be in that classroom so so because of this child, mine had to go without services at school.  Sometimes its not just your child impacted.

I'm sorry you family and child struggled like that and I hope you child is doing well now but understand that a disruptive child can have an trickle down effect on other kids.

And, maybe let the kid have some electronics.  It should be about moderation and not all or nothing.[/quote]

He is in eighth grade now and doing well.  He has been homeschooling for several years and is regularly evaluated by an independent teacher.  He does have electronics now.  He does not have special needs, (as usually defined as mental illness or a learning disability) and did not need an advocate or to go to a special needs school.

And I’m sorry about what happened with your child. No one wants to be the parent of the disruptive or violent child either, I assure you.  But these behaviors should be addressed at the time and in the environment where they are occurring.  Taking away that child’s electronics at home isn’t going to change his behavior at school.  That really only works with children like yours (and like two of my three), who really don’t have much trouble at school anyway.  [/quote]

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