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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Bump. Same problem.  Different family but same situation.  Struggling.  [/quote]

Story of my family too.  And of my brother's family and my cousin's family.  It has hit us hard and it is hard to figure out how to stay sane and healthy.  Very little of it is in our control and yet I am not even close to the point where I am going to ask my child to leave (but both my brother and my cousin are beyond this).  I guess I have not yet given up hope and there has not yet been enough damage to our lives.  And I love him so much.  I do think I have a breaking point though and I hope we don't get there.  Trust me when I say there is no stone unturned and no treatment not offered or forced, which you can do before they hit age 18.

It pains me to see what the rest of my family is going through.

No advice.  Just empathy.  I hope things work out for your family.

Have you watched Ben is Back with Julia Roberts?  It's not a feel good movie with a happy ending, but it is validation for those of use who haven't given up.  There is a line in the movie where someone tells Julia Roberts that she won't be able to live with herself if she doesn't try.  That's me - I can never stop trying.  I'm lucky that the rest of my family feels the same or at least indulges me.  [/quote]

Thanks to all.  No one could have predicted that our kid would have been the one to get caught up in this world.  The changes to the person we thought we knew...the lies, the manipulation, violence, and anger, have been astonishing.   We are “doers”, so we tried it all many, many therapists (us and him), we tried to keep funding college hoping that when he graduated things would be different.  He dropped out his senior year and didn’t tell us and then stole a great deal of money from us.  A year later he floats with no home and we only pay for his phone (safety is my reason).  Until he chooses different, here we are.  Our therapist tells me that I have to accept that this is who he is and move on.  I’m trying.  No amount of pretending feels authentic, but I force myself to function and so does my husband.   Our other kids have been at college or on their own, so we function and try to keep the mentions of him as “unawkward” as possible.  We are a shell of a family.  It feels like nothing will ever be right until he’s back in the orbit, but I am very aware that may not happen.  [/quote]

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