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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Financial damage

Kids being really angry and upset (don't count on "resilience")

Losing half your time with your grandchildren, forever

Kids having a harder time caring for you and your ex separately when you are really old

Ex having more kids with new wife and ignoring your kids and not being able to afford his share of your kids' costs

Unhelpful help from in-laws is really not that bad compared to how bad these things can get.
[/quote]

This list is only some people’s experience. Mine is not like this.

1. There is some financial loss. It is not massive damage. I worked the entire marriage. The loss there is is worth it.
2. I could care less if I have grandchildren or not. I do not like holidays. He can have them. 
3. Kids are fine. There is adjustment. There are worse things than divorce (my childhood was much much worse with married parents with serious issues)
4. My ex nor I are not remarrying. No need. In our 40s.
5. We never had help from in laws. We do not like each other’s family. Divorce is fantastic in this regard. I no longer have to see them. Yay! 
[/quote]

That sounds miserable. [/quote]

NP.

Compared to living with a person who doesn't love or respect you?  Who makes life miserable for you and the kids?

No one is saying divorce is the ideal. People divorce after realizing life is already miserable.  Maybe they have a cheating spouse, addicted spouse, chronically unemployed, or unmanaged illness.  Trust that when a person divorces they are leaving the more miserable life.  Of course people do not want to lose half their HHI, or every other weekend with their kids, but when you are in an awful, miserable marriage, divorce becomes the good path.

If you can't relate, well then be blessed and move on.  Our lives are not miserable.

Be nice.[/quote]

The OP wasn't asking whether divorce is worth it.  OP asked what the hardest part was, and her proposed answer was rather naive, so people are telling her.  Nobody is saying you should stay married if it's really that bad a marriage.  But people should go into divorce with their eyes wide open and be mentally and financially prepared to handle the potentially difficult parts.  [/quote]

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