Reply to Resent husband and his sibling over care of Mother in Law

Forum Index » Eldercare

Reply to "Resent husband and his sibling over care of Mother in Law"

Subject:

Emoticons





More smilies

Text Color: Font: Close Marks

[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here- to get conversation back on track- money is ok. She was a teacher so middle class had savings and has enough for assisted living-  as mentioned, we thought she was in good health dec 1 when we brought her to stay with us— just all her rides and activities ended with covid isolating her.   We had no idea how bad she was and maybe a year isolated with covid led to downfall?.  
   Point is we had plan to move her into senior living near us- it was wonderful complex with lots of activities— under construction ready in May— this “in between” period has been eye opener and now we are figuring Out daily this situation.
 BIL is good guy - no abuse - nothing weird- he and his wife just retired and are building house 2 states away. I don’t think my husband has put down his foot to say ( or maybe he doesn’t agree) that they need to come stay in hotel every other month and help us. They call her daily and they physically moved her stuff up her but then went back to their life. I feel like they are retired and should help more. They are posting pics skiing with their kids- going on walks, enjoying life and I’m about to get divorced and lose my marbles!  It’s really like having an adult special needs child - and we had no idea how to handle. We take her to doc for something every few weeks- she doesn’t eat or bath- she has gotten very difficult- we weren’t prepared for this -I’m just mad they don’t come here and physically help us. It makes me resent my husband. I feel horrible about that. [/quote]

OP, was your MIL's condition not monitored and reported on to DH and his brother (by the home health aides or their employer) when MIL was still living independently? It sounds like you've only just found out how bad her condition is.

As your BIL and his wife are retired and you and your DH are still working, why didn't MIL move closer to BIL?

Why would you expect your BIL and his wife, who live 12 hours away and are meant to be enjoying their retirement, to come and help often? Do you assume, just because they're no longer working, that they don't have anything else going on in their lives? Some retired people I know have busier lives than when they were working!
It's a bit like expecting your childfree co-workers to stay late and work overtime because 'they don't have much else to do' when they get home compared to people with kids.

A facility for elderly people with dementia is what your MIL needs, either near you or near BIL.
You are full of anger and frustration, but you are angry at the wrong people.
[/quote]

Options

	Disable HTML in this message
	Disable BB Code in this message
	Disable smilies in this message

Review message

Search Recent Topics Hottest Topics