Reply to Would you not marry someone because you didn't like his parents?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I am the OP. Sorry I did not respond before but things were crazy today. Anyway, some background for those who have asked: no I was never married before but I lived with my daughter's father for 8 years. He's still involved. My FMIL unfortunately lives about 20 minutes away.

And when I say that she is awful to my daughter I don't mean that she is emotionally abusive or anything like that. Just hard on her. Correcting her all the time when no need for correction is there, things like that. Last Christmas eve, FMIL was on her all day about one thing or another and said something like, [b]here's a present, Mary--we got you one even though we didn't have to! My daughter said "Thank you" and FMIL and FFIL both were on her because she wasn't more effusive about her gift. We were over at their house a few nights ago and literally there was a critical remark to me or my daughter every two minutes or so for the hour and a half we were there (about school, attire, appearance, our speech, the amount of food we ate, facial expressions they thought we made, etc).[/b] MIL used to be really overtly nasty, but BF put his foot down against that (which naturally caused a huge fight in which she ended up on the floor tearing at her hair and crying). This other stuff is presented as "Oh, I'm so concerned for you" or "I'm just joking!" so that there's really no way to respond without looking like an overreacting fool.

[b]So it's not a huge thing, no, [/b]but all the little things add up. I look at the possibility of married life with my BF and think of all the good things we can have: lots of fun, togetherness, kids. But then I also see the weekly Sunday lunch with his parents (which stretches long into the night since she won't let us leave), the drop-ins at our house, and a whole string of holidays, birthdays, and special occasions in which she is trying to control everything and nagging at me and my daughter and I feel so tired. [/quote]

But OP, it IS a "huge thing."  That is HUGE for your DD (and for you as her mother).

There is NO WAY I would subject my DD to that, no way.  It would be a deal-breaker.[/quote]

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