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[quote=Anonymous]PP who bumped. Thanks so much. It’s good to hear that I’m not alone.

Like you, I do think this competition has been going on for a long time, but I was stupidly oblivious to it...because I was at the top of the hierarchy. At 24, I had a really good job but generally did my own thing. My splurge was travel, but I can look back now and realize that most of my friends couldn’t afford that. I took their interest in clothes at face value; not as a possible sign they couldn’t affford other things.

At 24, I was also really focused on going back to school. My friends were too (and they did). I was never the girl who cared much about getting married by 25, but I ended up meeting DH in school and got married on the earlier end at 30. I have a really good career. He has a great one. There’s this weird dynamic where I’ve been iced out of the group but I also feel awkward trying to engage more, so I’ve stopped trying. When I think back over things now, I can think of some many little comments that were micro aggressions in the moment that I blew off.  Now I think it’s indicative of their true feelings. Comments about my ring. Comments about how far ahead I was on my personal life. Comments about clothes and travel.

While I’m sad about their actions, I can only change myself and I want to be obvious about where I screwed up too. I honestly think I was too oblivious. I wasn’t bragging about my luxe clothes or lifestyle, but I should have been more mindful that not everyone was living like me.[/quote]

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