Reply to Feeling like life is "over" at 50 and I'm okay and at peace with it

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I turned 50 a few months ago and I’m struggling to envision a future for myself worth looking forward to.

Almost everyone I ever loved or was very close to in this life is dead now, I can count my close connections on one hand with fingers leftover. I have lots of friends from over the years who I’m sure think of me fondly and would tell me I’m important to them, yadda yadda yadda, but life is busy and especially by this age the active friend pool shrinks for many of us. I never married or had children - not something I planned and a huge source of grief in my life, especially my 3 lost pregnancies. My health broke down a few years ago so I had to walk away from the 80 hour week workaholism that kept me from thinking about all my regrets and grief. Now I’m in my head all the time and it’s a really painful place to be. I’ve battled depression for 30 years and finally realize it’s never going away. Being at the age when women become invisible is another layer of pain, especially as now I battle age discrimination on top of the struggles any lawyer faces trying to find employment in positions for which they’re very overqualified. I struggle financially so it’s not like I can look forward to world travel or any other childhood dreams being fulfilled, but rather I worry about how I might struggle in my elder years.

When I was in school all those years getting my undergraduate, graduate and law degrees I always used to look forward to when I’d finally have time to do all the pleasure reading I wanted to - and now I find myself with shelves of books I don’t read because cognitive issues linked to my health issues make reading far less appealing than it used to be.

One of my favorite songs as a teen was Jack & Diane - remember it? There’s a line in that song that struck me in my youth but which I didn’t understand until now - ‘life goes on - long after the thrill of living is gone.’[/quote]

PP just wanted you to know I'm thinking of you. [/quote]

PP here.  Unfortunately, I just got bad news yesterday: cancer is not responding to chemo; tumors are continuing to grow.

[/quote]

I’m so sorry. Sending you love and support.[/quote]

+1 million[/quote]

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