Reply to Why do parents feel they have a say in the choices their adult children make?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Because old habits die hard.  They had a say in what you did -- indeed, they were responsible for your safety and well-being -- for two decades, give or take.

Because they love you and are worried about you.

Because they are afraid of something bad happening to you.

Because it's really hard to watch people make mistakes, or what you think are mistakes, and not say anything.

Because they want to share their experience and wisdom with you.

Because they feel like no one values their experience and wisdom any more.

[/quote]

+1, especially the "old habits die hard" part. Many parents have trouble seeing their adult child as a grownup. My parents openly tell me they still see me (40 year old CPA and married mother of two) as that same pigtailed 6 year old in the photo on their mantel. [/quote]

+2, OP will definitely do the same when she is older. Her kids will be on a similar forum complaining. We all do it. It's part of the cycle. In short, they do it to annoy you. And they have succeeded :)[/quote]

Plus, I'll say right now that I will never let my kids on a motorcycle. I don't care how old they are. They can be 50 and I'll drag my 80 year old butt over there to scream at them. A dear friend was hit by a car while riding his motorcycle. It was a brutal death. To this day, I will never forget the sound of his mother screaming, and it is why I purposefully break the engine of any motorcycle my kids ever try to buy. They'll always be your babies. [/quote]

1. A Vespa scooter is not a motorcycle.

2. I’m very sorry for your friend’s loss, but it does not mean you get to dictate your kids’ decisions.[/quote]

It is the same concept. It is the lack of personal protection that is at issue - same as a motorcycle. Should you be in an accident, the result would be the same.
As to #2, yes it does. Sorry, but that's parenting. I can't dictate what they do but I sure as hell will voice my opinion. I also come from a large family background where we're very close. Everyone is in everyone's business all the time so I don't get the idea that adult children think that they're entirely independent of their parents. Maybe it's a cultural thing.

That said, I don't think you want to hear anyone backing up your parents or any opinions other than, "yeah, your parents were wrong. They need to GET OUT of your life". I get this is your personal anger rant at your parents. It seems that their concerns are fairly reasonable but I don't think OP wants to hear that. So, rant away. [/quote]

You can voice your opinion, but yes — your adult children are independent from you. Sorry, that’s how it works.[/quote]

If you are white, yes. 100%. There is no family structure there so I'd absolutely agree with you. [/quote]

Wow. That was really offensive and uncalled for. [/quote]

And I’ll say one more thing: if you continue to bash on white families, I will report your posts to Jeff. [/quote]

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