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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]It is pretty common in Asian cultures. We have friends born in both China and Korea who took in and supported their parents, but they don't expect their first generation American children to do the same. That said, at least at the beginning they also got free labor. The parents acted like nannies, cooked and made meals so if you take into account the number of years they did that, they paid for part of their retirement with free work.[/quote]

It is VERY common in many other cultures for children to care for their parents, just as their parents cared for them. Not just Asian, but also African.

Is your MIL an immigrant or first generation?

Many if you have an indignant tone, but your are judging her based upon modern US practices, which are not necessarily “correct.” They actually shock people from other cultures (who think we abandon our dear parents to paid strangers or institutions). [/quote]

I am Indian-American. We live in a multi-generational household and at one point had 4 gens living together. - DH, I, our 2 kids, DH's single sibling,  ILs, MIL's mom. We were living in my ILs house and then we decided to move to a bigger house that could accommodate our needs and individual lifestyles.  My MIL pretty much ran/runs the house but we pooled in money to outsource every single thing that could be outsourced. My MIL supervised and managed it all - the cleaners, nanny, health care aides, the handyman, the landscaping, the tutors, the cook, the caterers.  She is an extraordinary manager and we all appreciate how wonderful she has made our lives, but we would not expect her to do physical labor. The mental burden on her is large enough.  If she took care of our kids it was because of her love for them. My children adore her.  She has her own pension and investments, as does my FIL.  The G-IL who also lived with us was not allowed to give a single cent for living with any of her children because it would be considered terribly unfilial of us. G-IL eventually distributed most of her wealth to her children probably 10-15 years before she passed away, so that they could include that sum in the down payment of their homes. All of her children looked after her and she looked after them in her own way.  You do not measure a family unit by the amount of money they can give you.  Family is priceless.  [/quote]

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