Reply to So many who don’t like/respect parents

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]How do you know, and how can you judge? If you haven’t been parented by a narcissist, you have no idea what it’s like. [/quote]

I know because they tell me why their mothers are so "terrible." It's truly, truly silly. And for the record I'm in my 30s, this is not a case of me being a boomer who is reaping what she sowed. [/quote]

DP and yet somehow I feel you maybe don't get it.  There are covert narcissists who can be quite charming to the outside world and yet are terrible with their closest family.  A seemingly small interaction can have a huge amount of information for the child but seem relatively small to an outsider who doesn't get the intimacies and nuances within that particular relationship.  For example your friend may say "she said she wasn't sure about my dress" and you are thinking no big deal, but you don't know that your friend grew up with her mother constantly belittling her, telling her she was ugly and would never look feminine.

Or perhaps your friends are the narcissists who will grow up and create more problems.  Maybe they will mature and grow out of it but just because a couple of your friends have this experience doesn't make it true for others.[/quote]

You misunderstand. I’ve only briefly met the parents myself. My reaction is solely to the things my friends say their parents did in private, and throughout their childhood. No glancing comments like you say, but full downloads of multi year disagreements about dresses. [/quote]

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