Reply to Is this abuse? Whom is the abuser?

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Re: if kicking is abusive, I’m just not sure OP is a reliable narrator here. Very normal when a spouse gently “kicks” to alert the other spouse that their alarm is going off. OP is clearly the person ignoring the alarm and wants to build a case that this is abuse but I sure wouldn’t want to tell a family court judge that the abuse started with alarm clock kick-nudges. [/quote]

That's actually not normal at all. If you want to wake someone up, you lightly tap them on the shoulder, you say their name, you don't kick them. This isn't how most people live.[/quote]

NP here. Nope. You don't get he nice wake  up when you allow your alarm to go off and do nothing about it, you get nudged with the foot, or the pillow. I'm not fully waking up to coddle you because you don't want to deal with your alarm and think I should. I'm not your mom.[/quote]

You sound like an angry, violent human being. "Allowing your alarm to go off" is normal human behavior. It taking time to deal with that is normal human behavior. I pray you're not married, or that your violence doesn't escalate.[/quote]

Nope. I hear my alarm I shut if Off. My spouse does the same thing. WE are not selfish. You lose the right to allow your alarm to blare for minutes on end when you decide to share your room/bed with someone. If you don't want to get up as soon as your alarm goes off use a different type of alarm system, one that vibrates, headphones, etc . Stop expecting your spouse to just deal with your alarm waking them up every day and expecting snuggles for it. Grow up![/quote]

"Grow up and start hitting people when they annoy you!" Yeah that's not abuser talk. "React immediately or face my wrath!" You're dangerous.

And no one sleeps in headphones, what are you on?[/quote]

I was totally right about you. Immature and need to grow up you want to argue with anyone and everyone and have things totally your way toxic  and need to seek help.

You're wasting your time arguing with me you need to be calling 911, getting set up with a shelter and a divorce attorney.[/quote]

You realize I'm not OP, right? I'm in a normal marriage where we don't put our hands on in each other in anger. A mature relationship, if you will.

I'm arguing with you because you're genuinely dangerous. You're here to convince OP that his/her's abuse is normal, the natural consequence of what he/she did wrong. I'm not sure why you're doing that; it seems like your own marriage is a violent one and you're trying to convince yourself that how you behave is normal, but it isn't. OP needs to hear more than your warped perspective.[/quote]

If you think every spouse who nudges their spouse with their foot or throws a pillow on them instead of showering them with kisses and arm rubs when they refuse to turn their alarm off you are ill-informed, and probably aren't married or haven't been married very long.

You are convinced OP is the victim. As others have said OP is not a very reliable narrator. And OP's subsequent post support that he/she is not looking for help but to further drama in their toxic relationship which is wh my first opinion on  them stands, they both need to grow up and seek help.
n[/quote]

I've been married 20 years. I'm sorry you think that not hitting your spouse is some kind of phase you grow out of. It isn't. I don't "shower" anyone with kisses, but I also don't throw things at them. I use my words, like I'm teaching my children to do. It's ironic to see someone who can't understand that concept telling other people to grow up, but whatever. You're clearly wedded to a narrative that violently kicking people and throwing alarm clocks at them is normal. Hopefully some day your realize it isn't. [/quote]

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