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General Parenting Discussion
Reply to "My kid told me I’m a “sh***y mom”"
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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]As much as the other two have been a handful for you, we always have to remember the other kids have needs too. Sometimes all it takes is acknowledgment that it is hard to be the sibling of a child with with special needs, but sometimes it is useful to find a therapist, or even the school counselor, who can be an outside the family adult for the child to share feelings and frustrations about the situation without guilt.[/quote] OP, you are no a sh***y mom. You're a mom who loves her kids and is dealing with a lot. I'm a middle kid, but I was kind of your oldest DD being the only one out of three without high needs/health problems etc. While I came to understand how my parents were doing the best they could, it still takes a toll to be the emotionally neglected child. I don't know all the things my parents could have done to make it better, but one thing that would have gone a long way was a little affection and recognition. I didn't receive a lot of either. I think if you consciously spent even 5-10 min just being kind to your oldest, asking her about things in her life, letting her know you're proud of her...it will pay off a lot in the long run. Maybe also confide in her (in an age appropriate way) how you feel sometimes. If you are tired, let her know you're tired. If you yell at her, apologize since that's never the best way to handle something. Tell her you know that. Also, be kind to yourself. You're not a bad mom. You're overwhelmed and being asked to do a lot. Approach this as simply a way to love your DD and give her what she needs.[/quote]
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