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[quote=Anonymous]The “love affairs” concern me more than the NSA (no strings) arrangements.  The former has a lot more emotion involved and would be a much larger betrayal to me than if it was a just any “body”.

My sister stayed after the latter type because there was another woman but not really the “other woman”.  They didn’t know each other prior and had occasional hook ups.  The psychology was much different.  It’s using someone’s body like a shot of vodka to numb pain or escape vs being in love.  There was no deep love or longing when apart from her.  It was never meant to be anymore.

My BIL did a ton of therapy and really changed how he coped with life and emotion and broke down compartments. He had a lot of childhood trauma that went unaddressed.  Their last kid left for college and they are like honeymooners at almost 30 years together.  They were always very compatible and had a good relationship other than that midlife affair.

I have a ton of respect for how they dealt with the crisis.  Both (yes the cheater too) were crushed by it and he has spent his life since being a good man, doing therapy and being a wonderful dad and husband.  She said therapy was wonderful and they communicate better and don’t take one another for granted.  He has great remorse for that period in time, but my sister doesn’t continue to hold it over his head.

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