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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I think this thread is sooo sad! My mother died when I was young, so I never had a chance to get to know her as an adult. I don't know what kind of relationship I might have had with her.

I find this unsettling, though. I hope and pray my daughter doesn't hate me when I'm older! I adore my daughter, and can't imagine how any mother could detest her child! That sounds heartbreaking to me!! I'm going through the preteen years with my daughter, and she is getting nasty toward me at times, and I worry she's starting to hate me just for being myself. Today she told me I was wimpy and mousey! It was startling to hear that from her!

Well, I'm sorry your mother are so awful to you, PPs. I can't stand my MIL, so I understand a little of what you are going through. DH only speaks with his mom every six months or so. That little contact with my children would KILL me!! I don't want to be cut off from them, so this thread is scaring me, a little! I guess if my children end up disliking me, there's not much I can do about it, if I'm not being mean or rude or annoying to them. You don't choose your children either. [/quote]

You sound like a great mom because you are concerned about your relationship with your child.  Your daughter is a teenager and is pushing the limits I'm sure and trying to figure out who she is--saying that you are "wimpy and mousey" is mean, but that doesn't mean that she hates or will hate you.  I think what most of the posters are trying to express is a different kind of relationship with their mothers.  I had good friends who rebelled as teenagers and said mean things to their mothers (I remember!) but they grew out of it and have good relationships with their mothers (what they report and from what I can see as an outsider).  I like their moms too.  From my own experience, I relate to what the other posters are saying.  We are describing mothers who are verbally and/or physically abusive, mothers who manipulate and/or belittle their daughters on a constant basis.  Mothers who are jealous of their daughters and act on it.  Mothers who are angry and twisted inside, who didn't want or shouldn't have had kids.  Self-centered or narcissistic mothers  . . . I could go on.  Thankfully, most mothers are not like that and are "good enough".  But the not good and sometimes evil mothers are out there and denying their existence and questioning the experience of women on this forum that had such experiences by some of the posters (not you) is naive and insulting.  [/quote]

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