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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here - thanks for these responses - we will definitely tell DS.  I do feel a lot of guilt, which is probably being too hard on myself.  Why didn't I save more so that he could go where he'd want?  Why don't I sacrifice more so there's money for graduate school?  If I had bought a smaller house 10 years ago, or not renovated our bathroom last summer, or put a little less into my 401K.  We are not wealthy, so had to make choices, but I read on this board how people can pay full freight for their kids and it makes me feel unhappy.[/quote]

Oh no, don't feel guilty!  And it's good that you didn't shortchange your 401K -- that's the #1 rule for saving for college.

But I get wanting to give your kid the world.  There's a school my HS senior would love to attend, and I'd like him to go there, but it's $70K a year.  While I'm pretty confident he would be accepted, he's not stellar enough for much merit aid at this particular school.  We can't pay for that and it would be insane for him to sign up for that much in student loan debt when there so many other schools where he'll do just fine and maybe even come out debt-free or minimal debt.

Where I am (outside of the immediate DC burbs), most parents aren't paying full freight.  Kids are going to state schools, doing ROTC, starting at community college, going where merit aid is the highest, etc.  [/quote]

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