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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]I thought I had resolved my issues from my FOO, but having a child dug them all back up. I would have never done to my DC what my parents did to me, and I had to grieve all over again. [/quote]

I think this is so common. It certainly happened for me. I have had to distance myself from my parents since having a child. There is a lot of stuff from my childhood that I have defended for years as being "understandable" because of my parents' backgrounds and how young they were when they became parents. But having my own baby, I just can't imagine doing or saying to her what they did to me. It was easier for me to be empathetic before I had my own experience of parenthood, at which point the resentment bubbled up.[/quote]

Same here. [/quote]

Me too. My oldest is hitting some milestones that have taken me back in time to when I was his age. My Mom isn't faring well in the comparisons. I haven't shared these thoughts with her because she tends to gloss over past hurts with "I don't remember that" or "you're in your 40s now, haven't you let go of that?" Well, no. I haven't.[/quote]

My mom is the exact same way. No sense of the long term impact of her words and actions. Brushing off behavior that is not defensible.

The only upside is that it challenges me to better to my own children. But it definitely takes work.[/quote]

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