Reply to Girlfriend Doesn't Want Kids..

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP how much babysitting have you done? [/quote]

You know most people who have kids never been around or had little to do with children, right? This makes no difference in deciding whether he wants a family. [/quote]

It makes a huge difference in if his belief he wants kids has any factual basis. [/quote]

Many women become moms without ever ceding for kids or being around them. To say OP doesn’t deserve to be a father because he doesn’t have childcare experience is messed up.[/quote]
Yeah, that's completely stupid. "Factual basis," good grief.  :roll:

OP, I agree with others who say it's a deal-breaker, even if it's a sad one for both of you. This just isn't an area for compromise on either side. Both people need to be all-in on having kids, for the sake of the kids if nothing else.

I also want to say I'm sorry some people are beating up on you for your thinking your GF's earlier statements might have been hedging. While of course if someone is telling you how they feel, you should believe them, the whole dating scene at least since the early 90s when I got into it (I'm a woman and 10 years older than you) has had a huge component of "men need to be coaxed into marriage and women need to not scare them away, let men feel they're doing the chasing," etc. Is it nonsense? Of course it is! It's total crap. But that doesn't mean it doesn't affect a lot of people's views on dating, the children question, etc. I mean, my God, there's a reason Bridget Jones' Diary was such a huge hit. I hope the younger Millennials and Gen Z will break that cultural rubric because it's really harmful for a lot of people - men as well as women, as I think this discussion shows.

Good luck to you. I'm sure you'll find a great wife and be a great dad, although I'm sorry it almost certainly won't be with your current girlfriend. I hope you can remain friends. I have been able to do that with a former boyfriend who didn't want kids himself but now sends really cute gifts to the one I had with my awesome DH. [/quote]

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