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[quote=Anonymous]You need to break up. This is a deal breaker.

Let me tell you what I can happen in real life--this is my story:

At the beginning of dating I said I don't think I wanted kids.
A huge fight ensued a bit after that in which he said he wanted only one child and that kid would go to daycare and his future wife would not be allowed to take a break from working.

I said I would never have his kids.

Pretended the argument did not happen (we were drunk).

Upon getting serious 1 year later or so, I said I still did not think I wanted kids and asked if it was a dealbreaker. He said no.

I accepted a proposal on the basis there would be no kids. I wasn not sure I wanted them to begin with but I certainly did not want them with him and his conditions.

Fast forward. A year after marriage he relentlessly pressured me to get off the pill. Every day nagging. We did not have sex much at all and I did when I was sick on antibotics because I was so sick I was sleeping at the late time I normally took them. Also, he kept saying the pill made me crazy and wanted me off it.

That is when he pressured me to have sex and refused to use a condom. I told him I did not want to get pregnant. He said it would not happen one time. I was only not on the pill for 3 days. I was too tired to argue and hoped it would not result in a pregnancy. I was in my mid-30s.

Guess what? One time got me pregnant. It killed any feelings for him whatsoever. I wanted to leave but felt guillty. He later said he "changed his mind about having a kid." I felt duped. I was honest upfront. He pressured me into doing what he wanted without any regard to my feelings or our agreement. The marriage went into a nosedive immediately upon the pregnancy and never recovered. I "stayed for the kid" for eight more miserable years.

I am finally divorced.

Resentment does not even begin to describe my feelings toward him. I did not want to spend 18 years raising a child. I have not been able to do what I wanted because of it. I love my kid but I know I would have been happier never getting pregnant. Career trajectory stalled. I preferred my pre-baby body (it is good but will never be what it was). I don't enjoy parenting. I find some moments of joy but not nearly enough. It is a lot of sacfrice and I knew it was not something I wanted to do, especially in that particular marriage.

If she does not want kids and you want kids, you are not compatible for marriage. End of story.

This is a deal breaker. Get out now. It is not fair to either of you to compromise what you want in life.[/quote]

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