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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Mine does this, too, and it drives me bonkers.  It's this veiled way of criticizing.  I just say, "Why do you ask?" to all of them.  Then he either has to back off, or he has to make the criticism overtly.  [/quote]

How is that veiled? How the eff do you guys live with partners who are trying to make you feel like shit, fully intentionally?[/quote]

Because, honestly, that's not his conscious intention.  If you asked him, he'd say he was trying to be helpful, and that's what he genuinely thinks.  He's condescending, not negging.  He's "just asking a question," so if I bring it out in the open directly, I turn into the one picking the fight, and I just can't deal with that all the time.  It's just easier to deflect it this way, because I don't have the energy for arguments.  [/quote]

PP who asked the question and I promise it wasn't intended to be judgmental or not. I just wish you didn't have to deal with that. I also think you might be giving him too much credit for not being his conscious intention, or maybe its not but people who are being condescending definitely know that they are doing that unless they have some significant emotional/cognitive differentiation like ASD where they may not understand social cues, etc. So even if its not his intention, don't believe that he can't change it. I get what you mean about it being easier and conserving your mental and emotional energy. I just wish you didn't have to be in that situation in the first place.[/quote]

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