Anonymous
11/13/2020 09:32
Subject: My husband just made a snide Peloton comment
Pick up a fake remote, point it at him, and click. I did this once at my husband and he stopped, asked "what the hell are you doing?" and I said, "I'm muting you." We both laughed and shrugged it off. Sometimes a little humor helps.
Anonymous
11/13/2020 09:27
Subject: My husband just made a snide Peloton comment
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:
Because, honestly, that's not his conscious intention. If you asked him, he'd say he was trying to be helpful, and that's what he genuinely thinks. He's condescending, not negging. He's "just asking a question," so if I bring it out in the open directly, I turn into the one picking the fight, and I just can't deal with that all the time. It's just easier to deflect it this way, because I don't have the energy for arguments.
PP who asked the question and I promise it wasn't intended to be judgmental or not. I just wish you didn't have to deal with that. I also think you might be giving him too much credit for not being his conscious intention, or maybe its not but people who are being condescending definitely know that they are doing that unless they have some significant emotional/cognitive differentiation like ASD where they may not understand social cues, etc. So even if its not his intention, don't believe that he can't change it. I get what you mean about it being easier and conserving your mental and emotional energy. I just wish you didn't have to be in that situation in the first place.
He's not trying to make you feel bad, but he's not trying not to, either.
Anonymous
11/13/2020 09:12
Subject: My husband just made a snide Peloton comment
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Mine does this, too, and it drives me bonkers. It's this veiled way of criticizing. I just say, "Why do you ask?" to all of them. Then he either has to back off, or he has to make the criticism overtly.
How is that veiled? How the eff do you guys live with partners who are trying to make you feel like shit, fully intentionally?
Because, honestly, that's not his conscious intention. If you asked him, he'd say he was trying to be helpful, and that's what he genuinely thinks. He's condescending, not negging. He's "just asking a question," so if I bring it out in the open directly, I turn into the one picking the fight, and I just can't deal with that all the time. It's just easier to deflect it this way, because I don't have the energy for arguments.
PP who asked the question and I promise it wasn't intended to be judgmental or not. I just wish you didn't have to deal with that. I also think you might be giving him too much credit for not being his conscious intention, or maybe its not but people who are being condescending definitely know that they are doing that unless they have some significant emotional/cognitive differentiation like ASD where they may not understand social cues, etc. So even if its not his intention, don't believe that he can't change it. I get what you mean about it being easier and conserving your mental and emotional energy. I just wish you didn't have to be in that situation in the first place.
Anonymous
11/13/2020 09:11
Subject: My husband just made a snide Peloton comment
Anonymous wrote:The correct response is, "F%$k off."
This!
Anonymous
11/13/2020 09:06
Subject: My husband just made a snide Peloton comment
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:I find it hard to work out. I have to gear up to do it, I hate it, but we just bought this costly Peloton and I'm trying to stay committed. But I don't like the instructor rides; I prefer scenic rides that I can do at my own pace and speed, while just zoning out.
I had a rough day and dragged myself to the bike. Cued up my scenic, easy ride. Began pedaling. Husband appears over my shoulder and asks why I'm not doing a "real" ride to get better.
WTF! I am doing a real ride, just not the kind he prefers.
He does this in the kitchen too. Why are you making brownies with two eggs? Why are you heating the pan so hot? Why why WHY
I AM ANNOYED
Your post is eye opening. I do this to my husband and I need to stop.
Waiting for posters to pile on that you are intentionally trying to make him feel like crap and he should dump you.
Anonymous
11/13/2020 08:56
Subject: My husband just made a snide Peloton comment
I agree with the person who suggested, "this is the way I prefer to do it." Shuts down further discussion.
Anonymous
11/13/2020 08:51
Subject: My husband just made a snide Peloton comment
smoothie hole šš
Anonymous
11/13/2020 08:44
Subject: My husband just made a snide Peloton comment
Anonymous wrote:
OP, does DH or anyone else in the house use it? Who wanted it? If he did, then he should shut his mouth. If you wanted it, I agree that itās a waste of money to use the Peleton on scenic rides (which arenāt that good anyway). You would get a much better workout (heartrate up, calories burned, etc) doing the rides. Start with short beginner rides and work up from there.
But the time to discuss when buying a Peleton is "worth it" is before you buy it, assuming the cost of the Peleton is above your "discuss first" limit. It's here now, she's using it, she doesn't need a supervisor.
And science shows that too much tracking is antithetical to good health, so shut your smoothie hole.
Anonymous
11/13/2020 08:17
Subject: My husband just made a snide Peloton comment
Ugh, mine is like this.
First I ask him if he genuinely wants to know why, or if he just wants to give me unsolicited advice.
If he says he genuinely wants to know why, I let him know the only acceptable response is something positive like āI never thought of it that way, Iām happy to hear your perspectiveā or āinteresting, Iāll have to try that sometimeā.
If he wants to give me unsolicited advice, I let him know that I donāt need advice right now, but if i do, Iāll come to him.
Most of the time he gets sulky and slinks off to mutter about how he only wants to help, lol.
First I ask him if he genuinely wants to know why, or if he just wants to give me unsolicited advice.
If he says he genuinely wants to know why, I let him know the only acceptable response is something positive like āI never thought of it that way, Iām happy to hear your perspectiveā or āinteresting, Iāll have to try that sometimeā.
If he wants to give me unsolicited advice, I let him know that I donāt need advice right now, but if i do, Iāll come to him.
Most of the time he gets sulky and slinks off to mutter about how he only wants to help, lol.
Anonymous
11/13/2020 08:17
Subject: My husband just made a snide Peloton comment
A DH here... he sounds like a micromanager, a real jerk. I had a boss like that. I fired him.
Anonymous
11/13/2020 08:14
Subject: My husband just made a snide Peloton comment
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Because you could have bought a stationary bike for 1/10 the price and watched something scenic on your TV.
+1
This is what I thought. He's probably annoyed that you spent a crap-ton of money and, if you just do scenic rides, wasted it. I would be.
OP, does DH or anyone else in the house use it? Who wanted it? If he did, then he should shut his mouth. If you wanted it, I agree that itās a waste of money to use the Peleton on scenic rides (which arenāt that good anyway). You would get a much better workout (heartrate up, calories burned, etc) doing the rides. Start with short beginner rides and work up from there.
Anonymous
11/13/2020 08:04
Subject: My husband just made a snide Peloton comment
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Because you could have bought a stationary bike for 1/10 the price and watched something scenic on your TV.
+1
This is what I thought. He's probably annoyed that you spent a crap-ton of money and, if you just do scenic rides, wasted it. I would be.
Another scenic ride DW -- we bought the Peloton for my husband but since it is there, why not use it? in the way I WANT TO.
In your case, at least someone is getting their moneyās worth (if you think a peloton isnāt ridiculously overpriced). And you donāt claim to be doing a āworkout,ā youāre doing a āscenic rideā. Iām curious what youāre getting out of this, though? Do you find it relaxing? I watch trashy reality TV on my bike trainer because I donāt want to subject the rest of my household to it. Itās also a good motivator - instead of sitting on the couch, at least Iām moving.
Anonymous
11/13/2020 07:56
Subject: My husband just made a snide Peloton comment
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Because you could have bought a stationary bike for 1/10 the price and watched something scenic on your TV.
+1
This is what I thought. He's probably annoyed that you spent a crap-ton of money and, if you just do scenic rides, wasted it. I would be.
Another scenic ride DW -- we bought the Peloton for my husband but since it is there, why not use it? in the way I WANT TO.
Anonymous
11/13/2020 07:54
Subject: My husband just made a snide Peloton comment
Anonymous wrote:Anonymous wrote:Because you could have bought a stationary bike for 1/10 the price and watched something scenic on your TV.
+1
This is what I thought. He's probably annoyed that you spent a crap-ton of money and, if you just do scenic rides, wasted it. I would be.
Anonymous
11/13/2020 07:42
Subject: My husband just made a snide Peloton comment
This wouldn't bother me, it's just a different opinion about pushing yourself on the peloton. It's another thing entirely if he were to make a comment about your weight or how clothes fit which I would take personally.