Reply to Estranged Sibling entered rehab for alcoholism and wants to talk

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]OP here. I appreciate all if this advice. Right now I just can't stop thinking about all the hurtful things my brother has done. The most recent incident involved texting me and my wife old photos of me and my ex from over 20 yrs ago, Then insinuating they were recent photos. Earlier gatherings usually have involved him bringing up something from my past to my wife or trying to get other people in the room to admit that they hate my wife and talk about her behind her back. Other situations among may others have involved insults about my kids being rich assholes. I just don't understand where these came from and the behavior is always unprovoked. I have never received an apology for any of them. When I state to other family why I have chosen to distance myself, the only response I get is that my bro is jealous because he's in a loveless marriage. That's not an excuse. I'm mad there's no accountability in my family and that my parents keep enabling it. [/quote]

You really need to get into therapy about this.  I'm not saying you don't have a right to be angry but I am saying that you shouldn't be so angry still.  You need to reconcile yourself to what has happened.  You can't change it and it sounds like you need to get over some of it so you can be more at peace with who you are and what has happened to you.

You also need to figure out what is happening with your family dynamic.  [b]It is unusual for a family to side with the alcoholic if the interactions and actions have been so damaging.[/b]  That doesn't mean it doesn't happen but it does mean there is probably something else going on.[/quote]

Wow you live a sheltered life. It is very usual for the family to side with whomever has the dysfunction. It's part and parcel of the screwed up dynamics. [/quote]

Agree. My ex’s family enables him in every way. They don’t want to be victim to his behavior so they just enable him. He’s a wreck, treats people terribly, and is a terrible parent (and he’s an abusive alcoholic). It’s a mess. [/quote]

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