Reply to Estranged Sibling entered rehab for alcoholism and wants to talk

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous] [/quote]

Sorry, but no. OP's brother *just* entered rehab/recovery. Relapse is part of that. The onus is on the brother to demonstrate he is making amends, not on OP to actively help him. Sure, he can't go back and fix what he has done, but he should have to reckon with it for a while and truly understand the hurt he's caused. He doesn't get a free pass because he's saying sorry early on in the recovery process. Addicts and alcoholics are master manipulators, sorry, but that's just a sad fact of addiction. You can show compassion without letting him back in to hurt you again. And yes, I learned that in Al-Anon.

OP, you can forgive your brother without having him be a part of your lives. Your anger here is justified. Of course, it is healthy and important to get past that, but don't let anyone rush you into doing or feeling anything you and your family aren't ready to do.

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Sooooo...there is a time limit?  It is too soon for the brother to apologize even if some of the events occurred years ago?  Really?  According to your logic the brother has to wait how long exactly before saying he is sorry?  I don't think you really paid enough attention in Al-Anon and you need to go back for a refresher.  You're cherry picking for things that fit your story.  Stop giving advice that is wrong and that does not reflect what the Al-Anon program represents.[/quote]

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