Reply to I am livid - Unreliable father

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Op here- For those saying im a horrible mother not trying to foster a relationship with my daughter’s dad because of my reaction to this, ughh! We have been separated since she was 2, i have always had  an open door policy for him, he used to come and get DD in my house on weekends til new wife said she wasn't comfortable with how good my relationship was with my ex, as her parents got divorced and never spoke to each other, so she didnt want him to enter my house to pick up DD, so he would wait outside and call for her to come out, which was ridiculous but I let it slide. I find it weird to randomly call the wife when she was never formally introduced to me, we dont live in the same state and she has never made an effort to know me. Both times I met her are because I went to visit when they had a baby so I could meet the baby and introduce myself. I have done nothing less but try go support and nurture DD’s relationship with him despite numerous visit cancelations,ect. In addition, the child support he gives is minimal and i have been giving him 50% of it back every month as he kept saying it was hard for him having a wife, baby and still paying that amount yadi yada ($850) because his new job pays less money, ect  so, every month I wire him back $400 on my own free will. I pay 100% of all my daughters expenses, activities, flights, insurance, needs, extra Cullicular, don’t ask him for anything. Theres been times where he said he didnt have gas money or toll money to drive and get her and I wired him the gas money! There is nothing more to the story or to my relationship or lack thereof with the wife, this is what we’ve been living for 8 years! [/quote]

You both need to go back to court or the child support office to get the child support readjusted.  Problem solved.

You are supposed to pay all expenses if you are getting child support.  That's what it is for. You shouldn't be asking for extra.  You are not paying 100% when he's paying child support.  You may be paying a larger amount but that's on you for sending the child support back to him.

It sounds like you aren't making an effort or trying in any way to make the wife feel comfortable and if you want them to have a relationship, reach out to both of them and talk to them.  Offer to meet half way with the driving.  If you had made an effort early on, she may have been more open.  You sound pretty critical and maybe she's worried about you accusing her of something or something else going on.

Either you reach out, offer to meet  half way and put some effort into it or forget it and move on.  Those are your two options.  There is clearly more to it if he/they aren't comfortable having daughter at their house.  You can always be the bigger person, reach out to her, offer support and kindness and see where it goes for your daughters sake.[/quote]

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