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[quote=Anonymous]Op, my now DH and I issued to have sex 2X per day for the first 4 years of our relationship. We are now 12 years in with three small kids and down to 3X per week.

From a very practical viewpoint:

— you need to learn to talk about sex because things will come up that you need to talk through. For example, after child #2 and #3 intercourse was painful with lots of lube and patience. It went away after #2 but has persisted with #3. It gets painful if DH takes 20 minutes unless he re-applies lube, and then we have to take a few days break. We definitely could not do it 2X per day anymore because it would be very painful. My larger point is that you need to be able to talk about sex and changes. DH understands although sometimes he is grumpy about stopping in the middle to put on more lube. It’s definitely not sexy but he doesn’t want to hurt me.

— your BF may not react that well to the initial conversation, but at 39 he also knows it’s rare to find another person with a high drive, so I doubt thus will really impact your relationship. Prepare for him to whine about it and try to pressure you (mine did) but hold firm and remind him that it’s painful. Also, when you aren’t having sex let him know you don’t like being pressured to do something painful. If he can’t eventually accept this, dump him.

— is your BF taking meds for ED? Has he talked about this with his doctor? He should since it is impacting your relationship.

— you need to learn to sit with your BF being disappointed. My DH still would like to have sex more than 3X per week (like every day) but I am not there, and he has learned to accept it. Yes, he still pushes, but I’m pretty firm that my needs are as important as his, and some nights I just want to cuddle. [/quote]

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