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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Luck? Luck nothing.

If that's what you wanted, you should have left DH when you were still only married or engaged and they treated you coldly. You accepted their treatment of you, and doubled down on that acceptence when you accepted the ring. You tripled down when you said vows.

Your choices, and own them, OP.[/quote]

It would be sad to miss out on a great spouse because you don’t like their family of origin. Good people come from all types of families. 
[/quote]

Then make your choice, by all means. Own your choice, live your choice, and stop complaining. Don't complain about a KNOWN challenge; a challenge you accepted thrice over by continuing to date, getting engaged, and getting married.[/quote]

I agree.  My husband's family came with some known issues.  I made my choice and I owned it.  I am very happy but I know I wouldn't be if I was spending all of my time weaseling around crying about how life was unfair.  Turns out that once I started looking at my inlaws differently they are actually pretty okay.  There are some things I ignore and there are some things I grin and bear but I am sure they can say the same things about me.  And before anyone says but mine are racist or mine are ...  well, I could say the same things.  My husband and I now have a multi-racial family, and we make it work with his family.  Half the time when I read people saying that their inlaws are mean and abusive, I actually think that the OP or person writing set themselves up for it.  So like the PP says, choose your challenges and then own them.[/quote]

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