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[quote=Anonymous]OP my mother wants to have a claim on us for when she has nothing better. She expects us to wait around on holidays and if she doesn't get a better offer, we are supposed to include her. She has friends my age through wives of people my dad used to work with or daughters of friends of hers who passed away. She will prattle on endlessly about how amazing and perfect these people are. They are basically the daughters she wish she had. The ironic thing is, these people also have a lot of qualities she finds unacceptable so if they were actually her daughter, they would have been subjected to verbal abuse.

I have learned to accept my mother is superficial, self-absorbed and extremely limited. It is easiest to have a light and superficial relationship with her where we still to topics like the weather. When she goes on and on about how amazing these pretend daughters of hers are, I just say "I am so glad you got to chat on the phone with her...or meet her for lunch." I used to feel so hurt that she could not appreciate me. Now I am just glad she has people to occupy her time so she doesn't spend every second obsessing about how I can never do enough for her.[/quote]

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