Reply to It requires so much patience to deal with Dh but he has none for anyone else

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]Sounds like an a$$hole hiding behind a adhd diagnosis.[/quote]

May be apsie, or something else, on top of it - used to people covering up for him.[/quote]

+1 million. My DH has ADHD and Autism, which diagnosed well into our marriage, and when he gets what he considers to be overwhelmed (a normal sensory/stress/responsibility load for anyone else), he loses it. It creates a situation where I am constantly walking on eggshells and trying to proactively manage situations. DH keeps it together in public and at work, but relaxes his behavior when he feels “safe” at home. People have probably seen me write about this in other threads, but DH has believed  since the day of his diagnosis that since he can’t help his autism and ADHD, the consequences of the associated behaviors aren’t his fault/responsibility. For this reason I wouldn’t recommend pursuing an autism/HFA diagnosis even if you’re sure he has it, because it can be used as a crutch and excuse. Unfortunately there aren’t a lot of therapeutic resources for adults in this situation. There are some good resources for adults with ADHD, but my DH wasn’t motivated to keep up the therapy and executive functioning coaching after a few visits and didn’t follow through on their advice. It’s really hard for adults to unlearn lifelong compensatory behaviors.[/quote]

Sigh, I don’t know what to do. Spouse in denial about the diagnosis and thinks everyone else is the problem. Blames everyone for his chronic shortcomings we all suffer from over and over. Plus the rages, which are frightening.[/quote]

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