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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]What is he proposing for dates?   A 2 and 5 year old likely have an early bedtime.  Hiring a sitter to come at 7pm is very different than hiring a sitter to come at noon.  [/quote]

Like an early dinner.  So it's probably a few hours of babysitter time.  The thing is I think he likes seeing me a few times a week so wans to move tbjngs up more in how often we see each other.  Just feels odd he'd get a babysitter and pick me over his kids. [/quote]

No, I think it’s ok. I would worry covid wise though. That would be my concern - is he being careful enough. But absent covid, I think it’s nice he will spend a few hours with you even on custody time. I have dated a couple guys who only saw me when they did not have custody (Fifty fifty) and frankly that just was not sustainable long term. It was lonely, once we were exclusive and I could t go on dates with other guys on the days he had custody. It sort of made me feel like, if he isn’t inviting me over or trying to blend me into his family or see me at least once  a week during his custody week....why am I sitting around alone rather than seeing other guys?[/quote]

*could not go on dates with other guys[/quote]

OP here.  This is a good way to think about it for me.  I guess I don't want a 50% partner.  I just want someone who's a good dad too. [/quote]

You can see if he is a good dad in other ways.

I mean married people go on dates with each other and get babysitters, right?[/quote]

It's not quite the same.[/quote]

Why? The general wisdom is that people who are married with kids should prioritze their relationship and spend time together. But some people expect people who are divorced to not have a healthy relationship and instead sacrifice that to completely cater to their kids. It is healthy for kids to see their parents have healthy relationships and friendships. I think, once it is serious, if a guy with fifty fifty custody - say week on, week off - wants to get a sitter for a few hours once or twice during that custody week, that's fine. It does not mean he is a bad dad.[/quote]

I disagree. The kids are very young, and already have very limited time with dad.  If  he was with them fulltime as either a single dad or married I'd feel differently.[/quote]

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