Reply to My sister feels ugly next to me

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[quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous][quote=Anonymous]You have to tell her. Make her swear to keep it a secret.[/quote]

I would tell her if I thought she could keep it a secret but I know she wouldn’t be able to. She’s very much a millennial and not mature enough yet. [/quote]

Why do you have to keep it a secret?[/quote]

It's not something I want the world to know. It's private. [/quote]Are you able to articulate why you want to keep it private? Would you be embarrassed if it were public?  Why?  If you would be embarrassed, maybe you want to think about whether it's worth it to go public and endure the embarrassment so you no longer have to expend energy hiding it.[/quote]

NP here- I understand what you are saying here, PP but I would add that what is embarrassing to some people is not having surgery to fix something that could look better, what's hard for people who have insecurities sometimes is the idea that OTHER people know they are insecure. Its often why the girl who isn't as pretty or is a little chubby seems through the roof amazing and confident- probably most often its real but for people like me, it was fake. The only thing worse in my mind than others feeling sorry for me about how I looked was others feeling sorry for me for feeling insecure about myself- the idea of people knowing I had insecurities (have) is paralyzing, it feels violating almost. The insecurity is the secret sometimes that grows into a bigger deal than it really is. Bigger than "i don't like my nose, it looks ugly, I want to change it"[/quote]

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